Starkit's Prophecy- Edited with commentary
by Feather That Falls From Crow
Summary: Starkit's prophecy, only this one includes my commentary and is edited so you can read it. (Updates every weekend) Rated T because who knows what might happen, and I rate all my stories T.
1. Allegiances

_**Disclaimer: I do not own this story, xDarkrosex does, so this is just an edited version so you can really read it, even though it still stinks... lol let's begin.**_

B**_old= xDarkrosex Bold+Italics= me_**

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ALLIANCES

**ok so like i said this iks my first story be nice plz**

**btw its set after sunset so…**

ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: Jayfeather-gray tom (**_Isn't Leafpool medicine cat is Sunset? So…)_**

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Foxpaw

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-cat

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice Daisypaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace (**_When did Daisy all of a sudden become an apprentice?)_**

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

Hollyleaf - black she-cat

Foxheart-reddish tabby tom (**_What happened to Foxpaw and Icepaw just up there?)_**

Icefire-white she cat

Toadribbit-black—and-white tom **_(Toadribbit, sounds very nice… I'll totally use that sometime soon)_**

Roseflame-dark cream she cat **_(How does Rose- and –flame go together?)_**

Briarstorm-dark brown she cat

Bumbleflower-very pale gray tom with black stripes **_(Since when did Bumble get a girly name?)_**

Blossomwind-pale brown she cat with a dark stripe along her spine

Apprentices:

Daisypaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

Flamepaw-fire-colored she cat with one green eye and one blue eye

Lakepaw-bright blue gray she cat with blue eyes

**The last 2 r starKits siters**

Jazzpaw-red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail

Queens:

Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelts kits **_(What kits? Hm... I wonder)_**

Dawnsparkle-bright tortoiseshell she cat with gargantuan blue eye's mother of Jayfeather's kits, formally of Shadowclan (**_what kits?)_**

Kits:

Starkit- grayish-blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forehead

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt-big red tabby he cat with bright yellow eyes (he's Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawnsparkle did **_(Why would Rowanclaw's dad come to ThunderClan with her?)_**

Leafpool-brown tabby she cat

ShadowClan

Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws

Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom

Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)

Warriors:

Oakfur - small brown tom

Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Rowanclaw - ginger tom

Smokefoot - black tom

Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat

Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)

Toadfoot - dark brown tom

Crowfrost - black-and-white tom

Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)

Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles

Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back

Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)

Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail

Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)

Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye

Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)

Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's

Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eyes

Dawnfeather-cream tabby she cat **(she's a different cant then the one in tC ok?) ****_(Okay we get it) _**

Olivepaw- dark bright brown she cat **_(Dark bright brown? I'll have to use this sometime)_**

Queens:

Snowbird - pure white she-cat

Elders:

Cedarheart - dark gray tom

Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat

WindClan

Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom

Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom

Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)

Warriors:

Tornear - tabby tom

Crowfeather - dark gray tom

Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom

Whitetail - small white she-cat

Nightcloud - black she-cat

Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes

Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws

Harespring - brown-and-white tom

Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes

Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)

Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat

Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)

Willowclaw - gray she-cat

Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear

Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws

Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)

Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes

Elders:

Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen

Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom

RiverClan

Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat

Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat

Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)

Warriors:

Blackclaw - smoky-black tom

Voletooth - small brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Reedwhisker - black tom

Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes

Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)

Beechfur - light brown tom

Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Graymist - pale gray tabby

Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat

Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat

Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom

Mintfur - light gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Otterheart - dark brown she-cat

Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)

Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)

Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom

Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat) **_(Since when did cats know about Copper? [Unless the Erin's did this])_**

Queens:

Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit

Elders:

Heavystep – thick-furred tabby tom

Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat

Stonestream - gray tom

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_**It can only get worse.. fair warning**_

_**-Feather**_


	2. Chapter 1- Prologue

Chapter one- prologue

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright. **_(I wonder who she is?)_**

"There is a prophecy!" She said. "Out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." **_(I can guess what it means! Starkit will destroy Tigerstar and Hollyleaf! [When did Hollyleaf turn evil?])_**

"It's about Starkit!" **_(You don't say…) _**A white tom said. "She's going to save the forest," He looked at a gold tom by Bluestar. "She has powers nobody dreamed of." Said the golden tom. "Should we tell Jayfeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said Bluestar. "He needs to know." **_(Apparently these cats aren't important since we don't know their names, my guess is Whitestorm? And Lionheart.)_**

She walked away from the pool to tell Jayfeather about the prophecy. **_(Because she can totally walk into the living world…) _**

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**_did u like it? plz tell me in urm review!_**

**_No we didn't like it… At least TRY to spell! _**

**_To the people reading this: I am going to write a remake of Starkit's Prophecy called Stormkit's Prophecy, would anyone be interested in reading that? (It would have a similar plot just written so much better)_**


	3. Chapter 2- The rose of a Herion

Chapter to the rose of a Heroin **_(This is a horrible mistake… Heroine and Heroin are completely different, at least you tried… see below for what it should be.)_**

Chapter Two- Rise of a Heroine.

**_ok jazzie-kun pleas dont get mad at me cause your not in it yet. You'l apear soon dont worry._**

**_(Honestly, She shouldn't get mad, It's YOUR story bee brain.)  
_**  
Starkit woke up and sunlit was in the branches. She closed her eyes again still tired. But her mom wouldn't let her sleep, not today. **_(It originally said Butter mom, sounds tasty)_**

"Sweety, it's time to get up" said Dawnsparkle; her eyes shinning. "Today is important today."

"What is it Mom?" said Starkit awake right away. Then the she cat rememembered what today was. **_(Rememembered? Sounds cool.)_**

"Ohmigosh it's my ceremony today!' she squelled excitedly. Today was the day she was an apprentice! **_(Squelled- a combination of Squeal and Yelled?)_**

She flicked outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom caught up to her quick. **_(wow, Flicked? Sounds fun!)_**

"Sweety, you know the clans don't except cat like us sometimes." She said.

Starkit glared. She didn't like being told that. Just because her Mom was a used to be Shadowclan cat and her dad was Jayfeather the medicine Cat didn't mean she was different! **_(Uh, yeah it kinda does, seeing as Jayfeather wouldn't do such a thing after his mother.)_**

"Starpaw come here." Said Firestar from the leg. He jumped down. **_(What happened to the ceremony? Just poof then she's Starpaw.)_**

"Starkit it's time for you to become an apprentice: he said. "You're a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor you." **_(Wow look at that she's Starkit again, and I wouldn't mentor her if my life depended on it)_**

Ever body gasped. Starkit did too. Se herd hear mother say "Wow!" **_(Again, I'd die)_**

Fireheart liked her shoulder. He whispered in her ear "you'll be the best there ever was Starpaw I know it." **_(What happened to Firestar? Wasn't he not leader a few seconds ago? And yah, she'll be the best, I'll bet my life on it, want to know how I know? She's a Mary-sue [and I might of read ahead]) _**

Surprised she walked away when they were done howling **_(They all became wolves) _**for her. Then she went over to Jayfeather and Dawnsparkle who were very proud.

"Daughter where very happy but I have to say something" said Jayfeather his chest puffed out, "You see there is this prophecy StarClan gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." **_(Again, We sooo know what's going to happen –tells Hollyleaf to run-)_**

Starpaw gasped. What does it mean? **_(Right, like you don't know.)_**

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**_  
lol I update fast dont i. REVEIW or ill hit over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk_**

**_Please do, it's better than this! As you can see I leave the very funny mistakes on here for you to see, for laughs, and I must warn you it doesn't get better from here._**


	4. Chapter 3- The battle 4 the clan

Chapter three- the Battle for the clan

**_thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the stroy!1 i bet u cant right such a good story!1!1_**

**_(I could write a better story with my eyes closed)_**

Starpaw walked over to the apprentices' den. Inside she saw her sister's Flamepaw and Lakepaw and her friend Jazzpaw (a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!) was sleeping on the moss. **_(So Flamepaw and Lakepaw are her sisters but weren't made apprentices the same time as her?)_**

"Jazzpaw get up." She cried. Jazzpaw opened her brilliant blue eyes and looked at her.

"Do you want to go on patrol with me?" she asked. **_(What about a warrior? You're an apprentice, or have you forgot?)_**

"Sure!" Said Jazzpaw getting up from the moss. They left and went two the entrance too camp.

But then, a cat came in thru the entrance! It was BlackStar!1!11

"Shadowclan are attacking!" She yelled. All the cats came out from their dens. She jumped on a cat and clawed him and he ran off. **_(Perhaps a friendly meeting, but no Starpaw you fight them cats!)_**

"Good job Starpaw!" Firestar called, "The last cat I knew that could fight like that was Sandstorm. You're a good fighter!" **_(What happened to Sandstorm? And there was only one cat? And what happened to Blackstar? Too many holes…)_**

Starpaw was happy. She was a good fighter! Maybe this was what the prophecy meant.

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**_  
thnkx and ples no more flams_**

**_Too bad it's fun… My word program had a red line under like almost every other word in this chapter, and I could use Spell Check, but going through it is funner._**


	5. 4- Chapter 3 The Training Under The Star

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Star **_(Wait wasn't the last chapter, chapter 3?)_**  
**_OMGOSH GUkys im so sorry but SOMEONE glares at rainy days FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know._**

**_(It's too bad not to read it and who could resist flaming such a story? I know I couldn't and you really shouldn't get so worked up about it, just politely say "Please stop, it's my first fanfic" but nope not you.) _**

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars **_(Uh, didn't I just go over this?)_**

ShadowClan ran from the camp. Starpaw smiled. She'd won! No one could hurt her family now .

Starpaw!" said Firestar. "It's time we train! I want to show you how to fight!" **_(Wait, didn't she just fight off the whole ShadowClan?)_**

"Ok." Said Starpaw happily. "But you just saw I could fight, write?" **_(Write, lol Get it cause she's writing the story? Yah, no I didn't think so) _**"Well, ya." said Firestar. "But I wanted to see if that was all you knew." **_(Didn't she just become an apprentice? I mean, what brand new apprentice can fight the whole of ShadowClan and then all of a sudden need traning?)_**

"Ok." They went to the forest together and the other cats cleaned up the bodies. "Ok Starpaw" said Firestar one they got there. "We'll start with how to dog." **_(-facepalm- how to dog? Is that like some new dance move? I think Firestar meant dodge)_**

"C'mon that's too easy!" yelled Starpaw. She'd just beat Blackstar she was ready for anything! **_(Yes our favorite little Mary-sue)_**

"Ok, ok" mewled Firestar, "Lets learn how to claw an opponent."

"Ya." Yowled Starkit. **_(Wait, isn't she Starpaw now?) _**She jumped at Firestar not giving him time to attack. She hit his side he didn't move he was too surprised she clawed him and he started bleeding. **_(Isn't training done with your claws sheathed? Guess not and way to hurt your leader!) _**"Wow Starpaw" he said. "Your doing awesome." "Really?" gasped Starpaw. She didn't think she was doing that good **_(Orginally god)_** was she really special like the prophecy meowed? **_(How do prophecies meow?)_**

"Yes Starpaw." Snarled Firestar. "I couldn't even get away in fast enough. Only scourge has done that before." **_(Wouldn't that be awesome if she was Scourge's reincartnation?)_**

"OMGOSH REALLY?" asked Starpaw. Scourge?1? THE SCOURGE? She heard so much about him he was really evil and killed a lot of cats. "I'M LIKE SCOURGE?" "I didn't mean it like that" Firepaw **_(Wow, he's an apprentice again?) _**said quickly. "I meant you were a good fighter. It's really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaw's so kawaii look at her eyes and her fur. **_(Oh dear, what does kawaii even mean? My computer and dictionary both have no idea)_**

"Oh, ok thanks." They trained for a while, later Starpaw beat Firestar 8 times once she let him win to make him feel better and by the last one she was a little tired. **_(Right, a new apprentice can totally beat a leader)_**

"Hey Firestar can we hunt now." Said Starpaw. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Oh we'll if you want." Firestar was disappointed he and Starpaw had been having so much fun. So they went hunting, Starpaw messed up a couple times but Firestar said it was okay since it was only her second time (she'd had her first time when she was a little kit and she and Firestar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice) **_(Okay so the Clan leader snuck out of camp with a little tiny kit and tried hunting? More like in her dreams)_**

Later that night Starpaw looked up at the stars. She and Firestar had so much fun today. They'd brought back enough food for the whole clan. **_(Wow, that's a lot of food)_**

Locking upon at the stars she turned to her best friend, Jazzpaw, and said, "Do you think we'll ever be up there."

"Ya totally." Said Jazzpaw. "I mean you'll be leader and I'll be deputy one day well have too!"

"Ya." Said Starpaw smiling she loved Jazzpaw **(NOT IN THAT WAY U SICKOS!) **they were best friends. She looked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep with the StarClan voices whispering in her head.

**_REVIEW R MY LIFE_**

(lol u like it Jazzy I mead you as kawai as I could(

**_Review or your life? Or Reviews are your life? Either way you're dead._**

_**-Feather**_


	6. 5- Chapter 4- Starpaws decides

Chapter For Starpaw decides  
**_flamrs ur all satanits!11 anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln and thats why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS!_**

**_Wait I'm a Satanist? I thought I was a Christian, and by the way please spell Jesus right, your making all Christians look bad._**

"Starpaw wake up it's time for parole." **_(Yay! Starpaw's in jail)_**

Starpaw opened her bright rainbow eyes and locked around. **_(weren't her eyes a molting –revolting- orange?)_**

"Omigosh who was that!1!1" She yowled.

"It's me Graystripe" Graystripe wispered in her ear. Starpaw got up.

"Omigosh Graystripe what do u want!1 she yelped Graystripe locked at her. "Will u be my mat" he asked. **_(So like a yoga mat? Just sit on her already)_**

"OMigosh Graystripe that's so nice!" Starkit screamed. "but Firestar already asked me." **_(When did this happen?)_**

"Well then he's just an idiot." **_(Yeah, I doubt that Graystripe would say something like that about his best friend.)_**

"StarPaw wok up its tim 4 parole." **_(Wait didn't I already edit this? Well for your amusement, I will leave this next part all original then start editing when it gets to where the chapter is supposed to continue)_**

StarPaw opnd hr brite reinbow eys and locked arund.

"Omigosh who wus tha!1!1"Sshe yellow.

"Its me GrayStipe" GrayStrip wisperd in her er. StarPaw gottedup.

"Omigosh Graystip what do u want!1 she yelped GrayStrpe locked at hr. "Wll u be my mat" hE ESked.

"OMigosh grayStripe thats so nic!" StarKit scremed. "but FireStar alredy esked me."

"wel then hes jst an idot."

"Why do you say that?" Yelled Starpaw GayStrip **_(oh, this is too funny to edit, I mean Gaystrip? That is an amazing name!) _**looked at her meanly. "I don't like him" Said Graystripe he looked around quickly. "He's a mean cat! **_(Again, aren't Graystripe and Firestar best friends?)_**

"OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURGE?" SAID STARPAW SHOCKED.

"No your much prettier than scourge" said Graystripe he licked her on the head "I want u to be my mat." he yelled. **_(I'm done correcting the 'mat's it's too funny to change)_**

"Well maybe, but what would Firestar say?" She whispered. Graystripe locked around again. "I don't think he would mind." said Graystripe

"OMIGOSH SURE THAN!" Starpaw yelled happily.

"What are you talking about?" said Firestar he was walking up. He looked angry. **_(I wonder why)_**

"oh uhhhh nothing Firestar go back to sleep!" meowed Starpaw hopping he would leave so she could be alone with Graystripe.

"Yah Firestar there's nothing to worry about!" cheered Graystripe but Firestar didn't leave instead he said "I thought I heard you asking her to be your mate."

"Oh uh yeah." Yelled Starpaw, but he didn't leave instead he jumped on Graystripe!1!11

"I Want to be with her!" said Fireheart **_(Yeah, Firestar) _**attacking Graystripe.

"No I do!" shouted. **_(So who shouted?)_**

"Guys stop fighting you can BOTH be my mats!" Starpaw whispered happily like a secret." **_(Uh, no thanks, that would be really not right)_**

"No we can't do that there can only be 1!11" Howled **_(Again, someone turned into a wolf) _**Firestar. "Otherwise you'll cheat on us."

"So Stargleam, who will u pick?" giggled Graystripe. **_(Stargleam? I thought she was Starpaw, and giggled? Really these are adult cats)_**

**_Also this needs to be noted: Firestar and Starwhatever cannot happen, want to know why? Firestar is her Great grandfather. (Starwhatever's father is Jayfeather, whose mother was Leafpool, whose father was Firestar)_**

-_**Feather**_


	7. 6- Chapter 5- Untidles

Chapter Five Untidles  
**UR OLL JUST SAINTS y cant u just except jEsuss it wold mae ur life so much mor engoyable u would never haf to worr/ again**

**_Now I am a saint? Honestly this needs to be pointed out: I honestly hate it when people include religion into their warrior stories, wanna know why? Because not everyone is the same religion as you, I understand for like Christians (like myself) you try to get people saved on a chapter or two, but making it a continuous thing gets annoying, especially if you can't spell the name of your so called savior. _**

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Starpaw said "I..i….." she was so foncusded! **_(Foncusded- confused and focused?)_** These two cats had asked her to be their mates and what was she supposed to do? They we both handsome and everything, but bot had mates! And she loved them both! Firstar was so kind and he obviously liked her a lot. Graystripe was so funny and cool.

"!" said Starpaw ass **_(haha, ass I can imagine the assed being there) _**she ran in to the forest. It was too much she couldn't choose!

She run and ran and run until her paws her hurting her. Then she relised she crossed the broader. Oh no she though Shadowclan will get me. "What are you doing here?" said Blackstar she walked up.

"I'm sorry!" mewed Starkit "I didn't mean too!'

That's ok" said Blackstar. "No one's perfect." "No that's not true." Said Starpaw, offended. "StarClan is." "What do you mean?" meowed Blackstar.

"Well the give us all this help and stuff" said Starpaw. "Without them we would be lost." She said.

"I guess that's true" Blackstar said, "besides I didn't really mean that anyway."

"Oh really why?" said Starpaw. "because you are." **_(Blackstar meowed should go here)_**

'WHAT' YOWLED Starpaw jumping away Blackstar Tried to nuzzle her. "WHAT ARE O TRIG TO DO MOLE STRAEP ME?1?" **_(mole straep me? Molest me)_**

"e—" Blackstar started to explain, but, Starpaw was to quick

"no" she said "I don't need another tom after me!" "I got enough problems right now anyway!"

"but you're perfect." Said Blackstar. "you beat me in battle you HAVE TO BE "

"NO!" shitted **_(LOL!) _**Starpaw Again running into the forest. Tears rolling down her checks she was crying. 'it's too much" she though. "StarClan help me….!"


End file.
